


Starbucks: Iced Americano

by dontbecooler



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Humor, Jokes yay, M/M, Texting, Underlying Angst, Underlying true love, they love each other come on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 02:15:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3191528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontbecooler/pseuds/dontbecooler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What kind of drink should Steve Rogers get at a coffee shop?</p>
<p>You got it! An Iced Americano!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starbucks: Iced Americano

**Author's Note:**

> Found this baby chilling in my notes, thought I'd post it while I had internet
> 
> If this is you please let me know so I can add credit!!!
> 
> ENJOY XX
> 
> Ps this is hard to do on mobile

**Steve! Nat told me a joke can I share it with you? BB**  

 

I can hardly stop you. SR 

 

**Alright. When you go to Starbucks, I know what drink you should order. BB**

 

And what's that? SR 

 

**An Iced Americano for the Iced Americano. BB**

**Get it?! BB**

 

And you guys think that's funny. SR

 

**It is. BB**

**Because you got frozen. BB**

**And you're Captain America. BB**

 

You're spending too much time with Natasha. SR

 

**No I'm not. She's refreshing. BB**

**Doesn't treat me like glass. BB**

 

Teaches you bad jokes. SR

 

**That's a good joke and I'm telling it to Sam when I see him next. BB**

**He'll laugh. BB**

 

The worst thing is, you're probably right. SR

 

**I think you mean the best thing. You have to admit it's pretty smart. BB**

 

I'll admit no such thing, and I didn't laugh either. SR

 

**Of course you didn't. You're no fun. BB**

**Mister Buzz Kill. BB**

**Captain Party Pooper. BB**

**The Iced Americano. BB**

 

Says the one who's obliged by name to be patronizing that shop. SR

 

**Wait wha- BB**

**Oh! BB**

 

Uh-huh. SR

 

**I get it haha. BB**

**Good one. BB**

 

Learned from the best. SR

 

**Because I have a soviet star on my arm. BB**

**And my name is Bucky. BB**

**Star-Bucks. BB**

**I'm not buying coffee from any other place ever. BB**

 

Brings a whole new meaning to Starbucks serving the Iced Americano. SR

 

**Oh ho ho! I'm telling that to Nat!! BB**

**Because I can beat you in a fight! BB**

 

You wish. SR

 

**I can. BB**

 

Sure you can. SR 

 

**I know. BB**

**You wanna bet? BB**

 

What, you seriously wanna fight? SR

 

**Fifty says I win. BB**

 

You might need a hearing aid, then. SR

 

**Steve, I'm not meaning a physical fight. That's just irresponsible and would probably be detrimental to my recovery. BB**

 

Then what kind of fight do you mean? SR

 

**I mean a war of the words. BB**

**Of the insults. BB**

**It's all about cleverness. BB**

 

You're getting funny ideas when you're around Nat. SR

 

**You're just afraid I'll win. BB**

**You're chicken. BB**

 

I'm not. SR

 

**Yes you are. BB**

 

Why would I? SR

 

**You don't want to owe me fifty bucks. BB**

**You have delicate feelings. BB**

**The list goes on. BB**

 

I can handle one Buck, forty-nine others should be a piece of cake. SR

 

**Oh good one. At least I don't have a small butt. BB**

**Captain Small-Ass. BB**

 

How is that an insult, Sergeant Smart-Ass? SR

 

**Because a big butt is good, and you're literally Captain Nacho. BB**

 

Captain Nacho? SR

 

**Yeah. Big shoulders and no hips or waist. Like a triangle. BB**

 

Okay. That one was good. SR

 

**And I win. BB**

 

That's all it took? SR

 

**I was pretty mind blowing. You literally just copied me, and were totally uncreative. It was easy against you. BB**

**I'm now officially fifty dollars richer. BB**

 

I'm happy for you, Buck. SR

 

**You're supposed to be vengeful. BB**

 

Nah, I meant to go easy on you, old man. SR

 

**You're older than me! You were aged and pubertied by that serum. BB**

 

After you had puberty already behind you. I'm still younger than you. SR

 

**No. BB**

**I refuse to accept this. BB**

 

Plus, as you like to remind me, I was frozen for about seventy years. Didn't age a day. SR

 

**You're the Smithsonian Exibit. May I add that I was frozen periodically for that seventy years? I'm just as young as I was when I went in. BB**

 

You're part of the Smithsonian Exhibit. And still older than me. SR

 

**You're as young as you feel, and I feel like I'm nineteen and you act like you're seventy and don't get visited by your family in your crusty old rest home. BB**

 

Yeah, I'm trying to be mature and responsible while your mind's still stuck in puberty with your skirt chasing and your bad jokes. SR

 

**I don't chase skirts for one, and two, my jokes are brilliant. BB**

 

Willing to let yourself be chased by skirts, then. Not much of a difference. SR

 

**Nope. Abstinent since before the war kid. BB**

 

Your last night before shipping out consisted of a double date that was basically you with a girl in each arm and me trailing after you people. SR

 

**Okay, so it was since I was shipped off. Same thing, Ive still been abstinent for an age. Except for the mission where I had to seduce targets before neutralizing them, but that wasn't just women. BB**

 

Point stands. SR

 

**What point. BB**

 

That Bucky Barnes is a skirt chaser. SR

 

**I ain't. BB**

**Just ask Nat. BB**

 

What? SR

 

**I'm not a skirt chaser. BB**

 

And Nat can confirm. SR

 

**Yup. BB**

 

Right. SR

 

**If I was then I'd have slept with her. BB**

**But I haven't. BB**

 

You made it sound like there was something. SR

 

**We're just friends. I'm technically still a virgin. BB**

 

Sorry, what? SR

 

**Me. Still a virgin. BB**

**Technically. BB**

 

What do you mean, technically? SR

 

**Well I can't remember having sex ever. It's not popping up on the memory banks. So technically I'm still bight eyed and bushy tailed. BB**

**I remember before hand, but none of the actual stuff. BB**

 

Right. Didn't think of it that way. SR

 

**James Buchanan Barnes is officially a virgin. BB**

**Do you think I should get it printed off? Apparently inexperience can pull. BB**

 

What, you mean you being a virgin attracts girls? SR

 

**I wasn't specifically meaning girls, but yes, that's what Clint was telling me. BB**

 

Why are you listening to Clint? SR

 

**Because he's my friend. BB**

**Tony sided with him. BB**

 

You talked to Tony about this? SR

 

**He was just in the room. BB**

 

But you talked to Clint about this. SR

 

**Yeah. Why not? BB**

 

No. No reason. You're right. SR

 

**Everything okay? BB**

**I would have talked to you, but we never have before, and you're always busy... BB**

**Talked about that kinda thing anyway, that's what I meant. BB**

 

Yeah, I know. Sure, I get that. SR

Glad you had someone to talk to beside me. SR

 

**I'd hang out with you more if you weren't always too busy saving the world. BB**

 

It's alright, really. SR

 

**Okay. BB**

**Uh... Sam told me you might get a little jealous. BB**

 

Sorry, what? Jealous? SR

 

**Yeah. Because I'm such a pleasure to have around, and you don't want to share. BB**

 

I don't have the monopoly on you and you can choose your friends yourself. You always have. SR

 

**You're still my best friend. BB**

 

Yeah. So are you. SR

 

**I'd choose my Iced Americano over anyone else. BB**

 

There would be no Iced Americano without Starbucks, so. SR

 

**Oh that's sweet. You're actually a big softie, despite your calm cool exterior. BB**

 

Don't tell anyone. Who knows what other bad puns people would come up with. SR

 

**I'm thinking of coffee related ones right now that I'll share with Nat. Something about you being all hot and unpleasant for the first minutes but then you add extra sugar and it's actually a rather nice experience getting the Iced Americano. BB**

**I'll need to refine it, but it has potential to be great. BB**

 

Unpleasant? I am unpleasant? SR

 

**No, no, that's the joke. And I meant cold. Not hot. You're not hot. Well, you are but you're iced so it would have to be cold. BB**

 

Went a bit ahead with that one, huh? SR

 

**I was getting ahead of myself yea... BB**

**I said it needed to be refined. BB**

 

I'm sure she appreciates it. SR

 

**Did you know Nat's favorite color is pink? You wouldn't think it, but she keeps that fact hidden. And she does. I'm brilliant. Also I'm fifty dollars richer than you. BB**

 

Do I have to worry about you getting killed because of gathering sensitive information? SR

 

**I can win in a fight. BB**

**I have a 50/50 chance of surviving a fight with her. BB**

**Okay maybe 25/75. BB**

 

You're the 25, I assume? SR

 

**Thanks, I love that you have faith in me. Yes I'm the twenty five. Have you seen her? BB**

 

That's not about faith, Buck, that's common sense. Everyone would be a 25, if at all. SR

 

**True. Very very true. But you are friends with her too, or at least you were before I decided to actually be alive. BB**

 

I'm still friends with her. SR

 

**Okay. I just... Never see you two together. BB**

**You're friends with Clint right? BB**

 

Of course. SR

 

**And Tony sometimes. BB**

 

Tony is a good person once he can let go of... everything else. SR

 

**I'm still in the letting go stage. Though that's not too hard to understand. BB**

 

Letting go? SR

 

**Tony can be mean to me. Because I killed his parents and all. BB**

**Him letting that go will probably take a while. BB**

 

Why did you ask about him and Clint? SR

 

**I don't know. I don't want you to be isolated. BB**

 

You worry too much about me. SR

 

**Of course I do. You're still my Stevie. I didn't want to steal your recently acquired thunder. BB**

 

My thunder, huh? SR

 

**Yup. Confidence. Ladies. Friends. BB**

 

What, you think you're stealing my confidence? SR

 

**I don't know. BB**

**You were always the fourth wheel before... I just... BB**

**I don't know. Ignore me. BB**

 

I'm fine, Bucky. SR

 

**Yeah... I know. Still worry though. BB**

 

You don't have to. I'm glad you found some people. SR

 

**Only after you found me. So that's all props to you. Well done. BB**

 

Anytime, man. SR

 

**Don't call me man. It makes me feel old. Call me kid or something. BB**

 

Hate to break it to you, Buck. SR

 

**You're ninety five! Hold some respect for the youth of today. BB**

 

I do, but the youth of the today doesn't include you either. SR

 

**You little punk. You deserve a sock to the eye. BB**

 

You still know how to make me shiver in fear. SR

 

**You're a dick. I'm thinking of upping the amount of how much you owe me. BB**

 

You're a jerk. And full of complaints. SR

 

**I'm thinking that it should be ten dollars for emotional turmoil you're putting me through. BB**

 

What about the turmoil I'm suffering for your sake? SR

 

**Shuttup, you'll be fine. I'm the one going to therapy. BB**

 

So tell me again how it's so good that Natasha doesn't treat you like glass. SR

 

**Don't use my words against me! BB**

 

Just did. SR

 

**That's another ten dollars. BB**

 

Go get them from Natasha. SR

 

**Are you bitter? I'm sensing hostility. BB**

 

I'm not bitter. SR

 

**That what all bitter old men say. BB**

 

Takes one to know one. SR

 

**Oh wow. What are you, twelve? BB**

 

Closer to twelve than you are. SR

 

**Stop this. I'm not happy with you twisting my attacks. BB**

 

Shouldn't you be used to that by now? SR

 

**I don't remember you having such a sassy mouth. Oh wait, no, actually I do. You're a jerk. BB**

 

So are you. SR

 

**Ugh. Alright, you're just ticking me off. I'm going to go take a walk, punch a baby or something. I'll come back when I have some good puns. BB**

 

Or when you're getting hungry, whatever happens first. SR

 

**You now owe me eighty dollars. Remember that. BB**

 

Fifty. You can talk about the rest with Nat. SR

And even the fifty are only cause I like you. SR

 

**Sixty five? BB**

 

Are we bargaining over emotional turmoil now? SR

 

**Yes. BB**

 

Fifty. SR

 

**Sixty. BB**

 

Fifty. SR

 

**Fifty seven. BB**

 

Fifty. SR

 

**Fifty five? BB**

 

Fifty and a chocolate chip blueberry muffin. SR

 

**Deal. I'm holding you to that. BB**

 

Didn't expect anything less. SR


End file.
